Letting Your Child Be Their Own Person

Our guest post today is from Brenda of Recovered Identity. I love her perspective today on why we need to let our kids be themselves. We hope you enjoy this thought-provoking post.

I often tell stories to my children about my childhood. I think it’s important for them to know where I came from, what kind of life I lived, and how I felt about the circumstances of my life. Sharing about my past is a vital ingredient in letting my children get to know me.

The other night, I was telling my 8 year old daughter about the day my mother told me I was old enough to wear make-up. I was thirteen and going out with a friend and her mother. I remember how beautiful I felt as my mom brushed on the eye shadow.

Just a few short weeks after that day, my mother announced that the girls in our family would wear dresses every day. I was also told that I could no longer wear make-up.

I watched the wheels turn in my daughter’s head. “But now you’re your own person, and you can wear make-up if you want,” she stated emphatically.

Her words hit me like a slap in the face. She caught on to an underlying theme of my childhood. I was not allowed to be my own person.

And it made me question. . .In all my striving to find myself, do I allow my children to be themselves? Do I make them fit into my convenience or do I let them experiment with their own interests? Do I insist they cling to my set of beliefs or do I guide them in discovering God and life’s complexities on their own?

Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “train up a child in the way he should go.” The way he should go. I think we often interpret this verse to mean “train up a child in the way you as a parent thinks he should go.”

It’s their path of life. They need to live it the way God has marked out just for them. . .in a way that utilizes every aspect of their God-given personality.

But here’s the thing. It’s not our job as moms to decide our children’s way. That’s for them to discover.

It is our job to train them how to discover their way. We do this by our own example as we live out our own way. We do this by giving them more freedom. We do this by saying yes to the mess. We do this by letting them know it’s OK to make mistakes or change your mind.

We do this by just letting them be their own person.

I’m Brenda, wife to my best friend and mother to four kidlets {8, 6, 4, and 3}. I survived the pregnancies and baby years and have stepped into the adventures of the schooling years. I blog over at Recovered Identity about the lessons I learn as I peel off label after label to find my real self.

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